little boy lost

it began with slumped shoulders at lunch one day.
 
no. it actually began before that.

day after day of a little boy laying on the floor during classroom discussions. tired eyes. lack of focus. yawns.

"what's wrong?"

"nothing."

then the slumped shoulders. heavy sighs.

"what's wrong?"

a shake of a head. tear-filled eyes.

"do you want to talk?"

a shake of a head.

"when you want to talk, we'll talk."

i watched him during lunch. i kept getting up to walk down to him and pat his back. he wasn't touching his tray. usually, we give him all of our extra food. he has a great appetite.

finally.

"i just want my parents to be together."

"oh, buddy. grown-ups just don't understand little guys, do they?"

i mean what can i say about parents who think more of themselves or the addictions with which they fill their lives than their children.

"and i'm so tired."

"i can see that, sweetie. if you need to rest in class, you can rest."

we talked a bit more and he tried to eat for my sake. but he couldn't swallow even a couple of bites.

he's been so huggy lately. they all are. but he more than some. and more than usual. i should have guessed.

he asked to write something when we got back to the room.

"can i sit in the private space and write something?"

so he did. a letter to his classmates and me. giving us love. thanking us for being us. it was touching and everyone clapped when we read it aloud. he got hugs and smiles.

the AP stopped by the room to ask me to see him later. he seemed so serious. i have several kids with BIG issues (custody, anger, abuse, etc.). i told him that i'd talk to him after school. then i said, "would you like to read something [a] wrote to the class?"

he did and he fist-bumped with [a]. he seemed really moved.

an hour later, after the kids were gone, i went to his office.

"i had to leave because i was really touched by what [a] wrote. and he was the child i needed to talk to you about. did you know he's living in a homeless shelter for battered women?"

"WHAT!!!"

i've had several children in that shelter, but i had no idea that this was the cause of the upset, sadness and need for validation.

spent the rest of the week dealing with mom, social workers, admin and most of all with [a].

little boy lost. 

the week that was

i just want them to be happy and to have a good week. is that too much to ask?
but life at home for most of my kids is in constant turmoil and that spills over into the classroom.
a little brother who has a chipped tooth from a "pop" in the mouth by his dad because he wasn't eating his dinner fast enough.
an accusation of child abuse.
explosive anger that cannot be contained in a child's mind.
an intolerant parent whose lack of compassion for one of her daughter's classmates knows no bounds, nor does her lack of communication etiquette.

the exhaustion of a little boy who waited at his mommy's until 11pm for his granny to pick him up because a custody order is more important than sleep.
a little boy lost in the blur of his medication. starving himself on med days and and gorging on non-med days.
a little boy who does not know if he's moving or not. and who didn't show up on friday.
balanced by the compassion of 7 year olds for a classmate's sadness and anger.
balanced by a hug from one friend to another in a study in empathy.

balanced by a "love" letter from a little one to her teacher.
balanced by the exuberant bouncing and gleeful laugh of a little boy during the showing of a movie about a beautiful horse.
a very good week indeed.